Frerard I'm Desperately In Love With You
by shewritesthefics
Summary: This is my first Frerard that I have ever posted.. hopefully you like it! Frank and Gerard meet for the first time and both instantly fall in love with eachother. Gerard is gay. Frank isn't. He doesn't think so anyway... A lot of love and lust in this, write reviews please! : M for bad language but perhaps containing smut in later chapters. ; Category is wrong btw sorry...
1. Chapter 1 Ever since we met

Ray's POV

"FRANK!" I shouted. "Frank come on! Slow down!". I was currently chasing Frank around the school grounds as he had taken my music book, which was the class that I had next. I was panicking because it contained all my sheet music for my exam, I really didn't want him to drop it. Frank was a fast little fucker. I had been chasing him for at least 10 minutes now and I was worn out, but he seemed to have just as much energy as he had when he had started running from me. He always did this. He needed to grow up!

Just as I slowed down and began to give up chasing him, I saw him ahead of me run straight into another guy, and they both tumbled to the floor, books flying from their arms around them. Oh, Frank. He always was clumsy... and this poor guy, whoever he was, had just found that out.

Frank's POV

I carried on running with Ray's book, laughing my head off. He was so slow! He'd never catch me even if I ran half as fast as I was running now. I looked back to see how far away he was from me and as I turned to face forward again, my face smashed straight into the torso of someone else, knocking them over and I fell from the impact too. I heard the sound of us and all the books we were holding hit the floor. Oh god, what if I had hurt them?

"Shit, I'm so so sorry" I said, expecting to be punched by one of the more popular and stronger guys in the school.

"Um, that's ok, it didn't really hurt anyway" said an unfamiliar voice. I looked up to the face of the mystery person. It was a boy, not just a boy, but a beautiful boy. Wait a minute, I wasn't gay? I was starting to question this statement when I took a look at this boy's face. He had long-ish black hair that shone in the light and hung perfectly around his face. His eyes were browny-green and he had a confused but cute look on his face. He was wearing all dark clothes, quite similar to mine actually. He appealed to me instantly.

I realised I had been staring and quickly stood up, reaching out my hand to help him up too. I felt jolts of electricity and butterflies course through me as he touched my hand, whoever he was, I had never seen anyone like him and I knew he was special. Maybe fate had made us crash into eachother.. I just knew that I had to know his name and more about him.

"I really am sorry" I said. "I was kinda running... and well, I am a bit clumsy I guess. It was totally my fault"

"It's fine" He said, with a smile. The way his mouth curved when he smiled was so inviting. _Stop staring at him! _my conscience said. While I was staring he leant down and picked the books, and then handed Ray's and my own to me. "Thankyou, sorry I should've picked them up for you, considering that I practically just tackled you to the floor" I said.

He blushed and giggled a little, such a beautiful sound. "No really, it's ok, my name is Gerard by the way" He smiled again. _Gerard, _I thought. He was perfect.

"Frank" I replied, smiling back. I was starting to feel a bit nervous talking to him now. "So.. er.. I haven't seen you here before" I said.

"Yeah, today is my first day" Gerard said. "Me and my brother Mikey just moved here a week ago". He pointed to a boy a bit behind him. I hadn't even seen him there before, but it was a bit hard to see anything else when such a gorgeous person was right infront of me. I also noticed that Ray was now standing at my side too. Mikey walked over and smiled. "Hey" He said. "Hi" I replied, he seemed quite nice too, and I could sort of see the resemblence between him and Gerard.

"I'm Ray. So, do you guys want to sit with us?" Ray asked. "Yeah sure" Mikey said and Gerard nodded too. We all went and found a bench to sit at and talked for the whole of lunch.

Gerard's POV

Best first day of school... EVER! So I admit that the first three lessons at that school weren't the best... I got funny looks (no doubt for the way that I dressed), but luckily no one approached me. The lessons were boring, and I was so tired from unpacking everything when we moved into our new house. At the end of third I checked my timetable, next I had art (YAY!), and then after it was lunch. I walked to the art room using my school map that the office gave me. Unfortunately, for the first time today, Mikey was not in the same class as me. Which meant I had no one. There was no seating plan so I sat on my own in the corner of the room, and barely anyone noticed me the whole time. While doing my work, I started looking at the people in the room for possible friends. There was a guy in a baseball jacket talking with a few others that seemed ok... until I saw him launch a paintbrush which hit some little kid in the face and he ran off crying. _So.. not gonna be friends with him then! _I thought. I gasped as I heard someone quite close to me that I hadn't even heard come over. I don't think the guy even saw me though, he was looking in some drawers for something.

He was gorgeous. He had black hair like mine but shorter, was wearing black ripped jeans and a top with a band on it that I had never heard of, and it looked as if his eyes were a deep brown. He had two piercings from what I could see, one ring in his lip, and one in his eyebrow. It was hot. In his pocket was an electric red ipod. That's why he hadn't heard me gasp. He had headphones in, and I could hear the music blasting out of them quite loudly. Something heavy. He smiled as he found what he was looking for and pulled a craft knife out of the drawer, walking back to his work across the room. He smiled as he was working, it was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I had known that I was gay for a couple of years now, but I had never been out with anyone. I was now 13 and had never had a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend. I would gladly say yes if this boy were to ask me out though, but I doubt he was even gay. A few girls were whispering and making eyes at him but he was clearly oblivious to it, focusing only on his art. He reminded me of myself in a way, as art was a very important part of my life.

The bell rang and everyone started leaving the classroom, as a guy with an afro ran in the door and shook the boy to pull him out of his concentration. He pulled the headphones from his ears, looking at the other guy. "Dude! It's lunch, lets go! I need to go over my work, I have a music exam last and you said you'd help me!" The guy with the afro said.

"Yeah, ok hang on I'll just put this stuff away" said the first boy, and then they both left. WOW, he was attractive.

I met Mikey at the lunch area and we walked around for a while trying to find somewhere to sit. It seemed all the benches were taken. Mikey carried on looking for one but I was distracted, I had heard shouting and two figures running, and I realised too late that it was the boy I had seen in art just before and his friend, but he was headed straight for me! I had extremely late reactions and tried to jump out of the way but we collided, both falling to the floor. I looked over to him, hoping he was ok more than myself.

"Shit! I'm so so sorry" he said, almost cowering away from me. Why was he doing that?

"Um, that's ok, it didn't really hurt anyway" I lied. I could feel pain from my left elbow and I was sure it was bleeding. He stared for a moment as if unsure if I was lying or not, and then stood and reached his hand out to help me up. I could feel myself blushing as I took his hand, I felt sick with a mixture of happiness and anxiety, as I wasn't the most socially capable person in the world.

"I really am sorry" he said. "I was kinda running... and well, I am a bit clumsy I guess. It was totally my fault". I found it so cute how he was muttering, but it didn't make sense. Someone obviously so confident in who they are (and so very hot!) surely wasn't the shy type. But he seemed to be.

"It's fine" I said. I smiled shyly too to assure him that I was ok. I crouched down and picked up all of the books from the floor, seperating mine from his and handing them to him. "Thankyou, sorry I should've picked them up for you, considering that I practically just tackled you to the floor" he said. I smiled and giggled a little, instantly stopping when I realised what I did. _That was SO not cool, _I thought.

I really wanted to keep talking to him so I introduced him to Mikey who was still standing behind me waiting. His friend with the afro introduced himself as Ray, and we told them that we had just moved here a week ago. They offered to let us sit with them and we agreed and spoke to them all lunch, but I had a really hard time taking my eyes off of Frank. Occasionally I would look away and then turn back to see him looking at me, and then we'd both look away again. I could feel myself blush every single time, but I wasn't sure if he was doing the same. We told them about how we had moved here from New Jersey (I kept out the bit about us basically being forced to move away because I was being bullied so badly), and that we were worried about fitting in here.

"No problem" Frank said. "We'll be your friends!". He showed a cheeky smile. It was really cute and made my heart flutter. I was almost hypnotised by it so much, that Mikey broke the silence and replied. "We'd love to!" He said, enthusiastically.

And that was the day that the four of us became best friends, the day that I met Frank and fell in love. Well, I wasn't sure that I was in love as I had only known him for a matter of hours, but for the next few years, it had become clear. I was hopelessly and desperately in love with Frank Iero. And I still, years later, had no idea if he felt the same.


	2. Chapter 2 Frankie's Birthday!

CHAPTER 2

Frank's POV

Fuck yes, today is my 19th birthday. And it's a saturday, so no work. Double fuck yeah. I'm so glad I'm finally 19, I was the last of us. Ray was the first. He's only a few months off of being a whole year older than me. My life is amazing right now, I'm the happiest I've ever been. Ray is my roommate now, and I have a steady job working at the diner. I know that's not the most well paid job, but I'm really happy. I'm also happy that me and my 3 best friends got to live like what we always said we would, as the other two live in a flat in the building next to us. Conviniently on the same floor therefore at the same level, with only a small alley inbetween. That means me and Ray can shout over to Gerard and Mikey if we want them to come over, or vice versa. It really is a perfect life to be surrounded by your 3 best friends. Plus, it's just like it's 2 flats shared between the four of us, as we're always sleeping over at eachothers. I'm pretty sure some of my stuff is in Mikey and Gerard's flat for when I go over, and some of their stuff is here too.

The only two things I can think of that would improve my life right now is to be treated nicer (when I left school the bullying didn't end, I still get abuse from all sorts of people every day, but I've learnt to be optimistic) ... and, to have a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure now that I'm gay. I've done lots of thinking over the years and girls just don't seem to appeal to me... I might be bi but I wouldn't know because I've never been with a girl. I've never been with a guy either, but I can tell. All because of one certain guy. You guessed it, I am STILL, and I have been since the day we met, in love with one of my best friends, Gerard Way.

Of course I'm still best friends with the others too but I feel this connection with Gerard that I haven't ever felt with anyone else. We do everything together! When we were deciding who should be in each flat it was me that said Mikey and Gerard should stay together, as they're brothers. That's true, but the real reason I did it is because I don't know if I'd be able to handle living with him, without him knowing how I feel. It would slip out, I know it. Whenever we're together I come so close to telling him, and I actually did kiss him once about a year ago, but we had been drinking so he must've just thought I was really drunk as it was never spoken of again. Yes, I must've been drunk as I would never have the courage to do that sober, but that didn't change the fact that it felt absolutely AMAZING. I've longed to do it again ever since.

First thing I do on my birthday is get out of bed, and shout out the window to the others. "GERARD! MIKEY!" I shouted. I wouldn't have to wake Ray up because he was always up as soon as it got light. It was weird. Just as I was about to give up, I saw the blinds go up and a very tired looking Mikey stood at the window. "Hey Mikes! Where's Gee?" I asked. (Gee was our nickname for him).

"He's out at the moment, but happy birthday! I'll be over in a minute and he should get back soon" Mikey shouted back, and then pulled the blinds back down again. I leant on the windowsill, thinking. Gee loved sleep almost more than anything and it was 10 in the morning! How on earth was he already out somewhere today?

I heard a knock on the door and turned and saw Ray open it to a very giddy Mikey. He ran in and straight away gave me a huge hug. "Happy birthday, man!" he said to me. "Thanks!" I replied, and the three of us sat down. Ray stood and went into the kitchen for a bit so me and Mikey talked for a while about what we could spend the day doing. We agreed to have one huge party tonight after a day of gaming and listening to music. It sounded perfect. Ray came back in with a tray holding a huge heap of pancakes, and four plates. He put them around the table where the chairs were and shared them out. I was covering mine in syrup when the door opened and Gerard walked in, holding a red carrier bag and a coffee. He walked to Ray's room, putting the bag in there (I guessed it was probably the comic he said he'd lend Ray) and then walked over, putting his coffee on the table. He sat down normally, taking his share of the pancakes.

"Morning" he mumbled. We all looked at eachother, uncertain of his mood. "Morning" we all replied. It was silent for a minute or two before Gerard began speaking again.

"Frank, could you pass me that cushion over there?" He pointed behind me at the sofa on the other side of the room. "Yeah.. sure" I said, and got up, walking over to get it. Just as I picked up the pillow, I heard fast footsteps coming up behind me. I turned quickly and my face was met with Gerard as he crashed into me and we both fell back onto the sofa. He began tickling me and laughing as I squirmed underneath him.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!" he shouted, holding me beneath him. He tickled me a few more times before stopping and smiling down at me, me smiling back. His expression changed as if he was lost in thought. He was looking right into my eyes, and I felt my heart stop as I stared back into his.

"EHEM!" Mikey shouted. We both snapped back into the real world and Gerard got off of me, letting me go. "erm.. food.. is getting cold" he said, and walked back to his seat. I awkwardly did the same.

Mikey's POV

What the fuck was that? Gee and Frank just sort of.. stared at eachother! Do they like eachother or what? I knew Gerard was gay but FRANK TOO? WHAT IS GOING ON! Now that I think about it, they have always been extremely close. And they would look good together. But would it change things? I don't think so. I looked to Ray, he seemed to be having the same thoughts. He shrugged while the other two weren't looking. I smiled at him, and he smiled back evilly. I knew we had, on some level, just made a deal. We were going to get Gerard and Frank together before the end of the night.

IT'S ON!


	3. Chapter 3 We kissed

CHAPTER 3

Gerard's POV

Oh god, oh god, oh god. What did I do. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?! I wanted to surprise Frank... I jumped on him... His eyes, his fucking gorgeous eyes did this to me. I just froze, I couldn't breathe, he looked amazing and the fact that he was under me wasn't helping me with certain situations that were growing. Shit, what if he noticed? Maybe that's why he was staring back... Oh god, I'm such a creep!

It was hours since the 'incident' happened. It was about 7pm and we were all sharing a pizza (just cheese and tomato, as Frank's a vegetarian), and flicking through the music channels. Frank stopped on one, shouting out happily. "Fuck yes, GREEN DAY!" he screamed. He sat there throughout the whole song blasting out the lyrics to American Idiot while we all just watched him, in fits of laughter. When the song finished, he looked upset all of a sudden.

"Guys! Don't laugh, sing with me!" he said. We all laughed, saying "no!" at the same time. He pouted, sticking his bottom lip out like a toddler. It was damn cute.

"How old are you?" Ray laughed.

"Shut the fuck up Toro, at least I can sing infront of people. You're all babies!" Frank replied. He turned to face me and I blushed a little, unable to get earlier out of my mind. "Gee?" oh no. Here it comes. The puppy dog face. Shit. "You'll sing with me, won't you?" his eyes went big and cute, I was finding it so hard to say no. "You have such a beautiful voice, sing with me!" he said.

"...fine" I gave up, earning laughs from both Ray and Mikey. "You aren't getting away with it! You'll fucking sing too or else!"

"As threatening as that sounds, I don't think you'd try and hurt me. But since it's Frank's birthday, there's only one way you're gonna get me to sing. And that's... alcohol" Ray smiled, pulling some bottles from behind him. He handed us one each and we began drinking, and half an hour later we were all singing at the top of our lungs to whatever song came on, and no doubt, annoying the hell out of our neighbours.

I started to feel a bit uneasy so I went into the bathroom for a while, leaving the door open so I could still hear the music. After a while someone came in and closed the door behind them, and I felt a familiar touch on my back. Even after all these years, just a touch from Frank sent electricity coursing through me.

"Are you alright Gee? I know what happens when you drink too much" He asked. I sighed. Frank knew more than anyone, which was embarrassing, that I was a real lightweight. Even a bit of alcohol could make me ill for days.

"Yeah I'm fine, just needed air" I said, turning to look at him. "What are the others doing?"

"Oh, they're playing guitar hero at the moment" Frank grinned.

"So Ray's kicking Mikey's ass again, right?" I asked.

"Is he ever not?" Frank laughed. It seemed like they'd be distracted doing that for a while, so this was my chance. "Follow me" I said, and walked out of the room, Frank following close behind. We went into Ray's room and I shut the door behind us, pulling the bag out from under his bed. I couldn't get nervous now. Please don't get nervous! I handed the bag to Frank, awaiting his reaction as he pulled the present out and began unwrapping it.

Frank's POV

Gee handed the bag to me. Wait, was it actually for me? I supposed I was a bit stupid to think that Gerard had just not gotten me a present, he got me one every year. He chose the best presents. I took it out from the bag and saw the black and silver wrapping paper with a bow on top. I grinned and carefully opened it. Inside was a little wooden box, and I was starting to think this was turning into a game of pass the parcel. But this was the last package, as when I opened the box, I saw what it was. Holy shit. It was a reciept.

I began reading. I couldn't believe what I saw. Gerard had bought me a guitar. And not just any guitar.. the one I had been wanting for months now but just couldn't quite afford. He must've saved up so much for this.

"Sorry it's just a reciept, the delivery delayed, it should get here in a couple of days" he said, looking uneasy. I looked back at him dumbly. I couldn't believe he had gotten me this! Beautiful, beautiful Gee had got me the most perfect present I could ever dream of. I began smiling so much my face started to hurt, and Gerard smiled back.

"You like it?" He asked. I couldn't believe he would even ask something like that. Of course I liked it! I loved it! I loved him! My god.. I REALLY loved him. I looked at him, straight into his beautifully hazel eyes. I couldn't believe how much he meant to me. The only gift greater than this guitar would be to actually be with him, even to kiss him.. Just once...

I realised too late what I was doing. I had leaned in. My hands were either side of his face, tangling them in his silky hair. My lips were millimetres away from his... Any second now I would kiss him...

"HEY GUYS! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? IT'S YOUR TURN ON THE GAME!" Ray shouted. I jumped a mile as I realised what I was doing and snapped out of my trance.

"Shit, I.. I have to go.. completely forgot about something I needed to do! Back soon!" I practically shouted in Gerard's face, and burst out the room and out of the front door, not stopping until I was out of the building. I walked down the street, looking for anywhere to go. In the end I just went to the trees at the edge of a park nearby, and sat beneath one, head in my hands. I had forgotten until now what it was like to cry.

Gerard's POV

Holy shit, Frank kissed me. Well he didn't actually kiss me, but he was so close to. And then Ray had to ruin it. Damn you Toro!

"What the fuck just happened?!" Mikey said, coming into the room.

"Frank just forgot something he was meant to do, he'll be back soon, everything's fine" I lied.

"Oh good. So this is a good opportunity for us to talk to you then..." Mikey said, grinning evilly. He was up to something. On cue, Ray entered the room with the same look on his face.

"You love him, don't you" Ray said. I shook my head. "Don't lie, we know, Gee." He said, so I gave in and nodded.

"He loves you too, you know. It's so obvious" Mikey said.

"Didn't seem like it before" I replied. "I think he was going to kiss me... He was so close to doing it and then he just ran! I think I scared him off somehow and now I feel awful cause he's the only one I've ever wanted!" I began crying.

"Come on Gee" Mikey said, pulling me to my feet and leading me out of the room, with Ray following us.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trying to stop crying.

"To find your boyfriend so you guys can get together already, we've been dying here waiting!" Mikey laughed.

"I second that" Ray said.


	4. Chapter 4 The search for Frank

Mikey's POV

"Guys COME ON! It's been hours and we can't find Frank anywhere!" Gerard shouted back to us, as he ran off ahead.

"Actually it's been about 10 minutes..." Ray half-shouted back. I sighed, and stopped trying to catch up. Ray noticed and stopped too, walking to my side as we watched Gerard run back and forth, searching everywhere.

"Do you think this will wreck everything for them?" Ray asked me.

"I really hope not" I said. I knew that things would be a bit weird if my brother and one of my best friends started going out, but I would be happy for them if it's what they wanted. It was so clear how in love with eachother they were, and we needed to do all we can to get them to be together.

"Come on Gee, let's go back now! It's cold and I'm sure Frank will probably be back at the apartment by now" I shouted to him. After much protesting, we got him to walk home. I was right, we walked in to find Frank sitting on a chair on the other side of the room, headphones in, looking out of the window. The music was loud, and he hadn't heard us come in. I glanced at Ray and we both nodded and went into his room to give them some privacy. We tried to listen through the door, but we couldn't hear anything happening yet.

Gerard's POV

Oh shit, there he was. I saw Mikey and Ray slip into Ray's room... so they weren't going to be much help then. I took a deep breath and tapped Frank on the shoulder. Startled, he turned to face me and then blushed, slowly taking out his headphones.

"Err hey" he said. "Sorry I guess I kinda ruined my own birthday party.. it was just a bit awkward you know.. I was really stupid and I know that you're probably annoyed or whatever an-"

I brought my lips to his, making him shut up. Boy, did he ramble. First he stayed still in shock, and then I felt him begin to kiss back. I brought my hands to his face while I felt his go around me, resting on my back. I assumed it would feel amazing since I had been waiting for so long, but I was wrong. It was out of this world.

I pulled away and looked at Frank, and I saw him smile at me. I smiled back, and leaned over. "Happy Birthday, Frank" I whispered into his ear.

He giggled and hugged me, kissing me again and then I shouted to the others: "Guys! Come in! It's time to party!". And that's exactly what we did. I took Frank's hand and didn't let go of it for the rest of the night until we all fell asleep, exhausted. I woke up the next morning and couldn't help but giggle at the sight; Frank had one arm around me and was resting his head on the side of the couch while drooling a little, Mikey's head was on Frank's feet and he was mumbling in his sleep, and Ray was on the couch curled up in a ball snoring.

We were a weird bunch, but we were great when we were together. Especially now that I had my Frank. I was happy.

It's a shame things had to change...


	5. Chapter 5 I don't love you

Chapter 5 - I Don't Love You

Gerard's POV

"NOOOOOO!"

Oh my fucking god. As I'm sure you know, I love Frank Iero more than anything. I have for just over 5 years now since we met, and it's almost a year since we first admitted our love to each other. But seriously, does he ever shut up?! I personally am a really quiet person. When I was younger, our basement was my bedroom, and I used to spend most of my time down there drawing comic book characters rather than talking to people. Frank is the opposite, in high school he was really loud and outgoing. Of course we were the loser group so he wasn't exactly 'popular', but that didn't stop him from talking non-stop. I'm surprised he never lost his voice. And even now, years later, he is still the loudest person I know.

At the moment him and Ray are playing some game, I think it's Nazi Zombies. Frank keeps screaming every time he dies, and it's annoying me because I'm trying to concentrate on a poem I'm writing. I suppose they could be songs with music to accompany them. I look up and glare in Frank's direction until he notices, and then he pulls his oh-so-famous puppy dog face and says "sorry Gee!" to me. Damn him, that works on me every time. The truth is, I could never stay mad at him. I love him too much.

Frank's POV

After beating Lady Fro-Fro(Ray)'s ass on COD for about the billionth time today and getting a new personal record of headshots, I decided it was time to apologise to Gerard. I knew he didn't like when people were loud, and he had been sitting at the table clearly concentrating on something. We were back in our own flat now (Gerard and I moved in together a couple of weeks ago and now Ray and Mikey live together) and I decided to make him a coffee, grab some cookies and then go and take them to him. I found him at his desk in his room, drawing something. Of course we often shared a bed, but because we had a lot of different stuff, we had separate rooms.

"Hey" I said. "What are you drawing?"

"Another character" He replied. I looked over his shoulder to the drawing. This one was some type of superhero, dressed in a blue jacket, yellow mask and grey jeans with a yellow gun. It looked pretty cool.

"I like it" I said.

"Thanks". He stopped drawing and turned in his seat to face me. His face lit up with a broad smile as he saw the coffee and cookies, and I handed them to him. He took them from me and placed the tray on his desk, taking a quick sip of the coffee and then turning back to me. He leaned forwards and put his arms on my waist, bringing his lips to mine. I responded by kissing back and throwing my arms around his neck, apparently too hard as he moaned when they hit him. I couldn't lie, it turned me on. I think he noticed too, as he started leading me away from the desk.. And to.. His bed. Without breaking the kiss he laid me down, straddling me and then kissing along my neck. I took the end of the kiss as an opportunity to gain my breath back, and to realise what he was going to do. I wanted him to. Badly.

"Gee" I said. He stopped and looked down to me. "Your coffee will get cold" I giggled. He smiled that evil grin of his and then brought his face back to my ear.

"It doesn't matter, I know you'll make another one for me when I give you what you want. Won't you, Frankie?" He whispered. His voice sent shockwaves through my veins. I nodded and he laughed, kissing me again. And then things got really fun…

Gerard's POV

Ray's been acting weird lately. He's just not really talking and spacing out a little. The other day he was just staring at Frank blankly. It creeped everyone out. He's especially weird around me, it's like he's scared to talk to me or something. But I don't know why.

This morning I woke up to the sound of Frank's soft breathing - he was asleep on my chest and my arms were wrapped around him like he was a teddy. That guy was damn comfy though. I lay there for a while longer so that he could have some extra sleep before eventually moving, and waking him up in the process.

"Whoa, what year is it" He mumbled as he awoke.

"You know what year it is Frankie. But today's Sunday and it's 11am already so it's time we got up and did something!" I said.

"I know what we could do…" He winked. I leaned in until I was inches away from him. "Fuck off" I said, and winked back, walking off into the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my makeup. When I came out of the bathroom I got dressed and then walked out to find Frank already dressed and sitting in the living room with a piece of toast covered in marmite. He held it out to me and said through a mouthful of food; "Want some?".

I pretended to gag. "Marmite is disgusting!" I replied, and made myself a coffee and sat down next to him. We sat in comfortable silence as he munched his toast and I thought about what we would be doing today. We were planning on going into the town with Mikey and Ray to look in the comic book store, and as Ray's birthday was in a week, Frank and I had a plan that we would split up so Mikey and I could go off together and buy Ray presents, while Frank kept him occupied. Then we would meet later after effectively hiding his presents in the boot of my car. After our breakfast, Frank did his makeup and then we were ready to go and get the others. Operation Presents for Fro Fro, is ago.

Frank's POV

"Ok so Ray, I forgot I needed to get some new strings for my guitar, is it cool if you come with me and then we'll meet you other guys at the takeaway a bit later when we've found them?" I asked. All part of the plan.

"I agree with that, I have to get some art supplies anyways so Mikey and I can do that while you guys look for the strings" Gerard agreed with me. Mikey nodded, and Ray agreed too after a moment. Why was that guy so spaced out?

We all said Goodbye and then me and Ray started making our way to the nearest music store. There were two in this town, a fair distance away from each other, and nowhere near where Gerard and Mikey would be looking for presents. Ray asked me what type of strings I needed to find, and I made up a type so that we would be looking for a long time, long enough for Mikey and Gerard to find him something. We looked for about 45 minutes before Ray gave up.

"I'm really bored of this" He said.

"But the others won't have got all of the art stuff yet"

"Then lets go and sit at the park for a while!"

I considered it. The park was also quite far away from where Gerard and Mikey would be, and so I agreed. They also knew that we were likely to be there, so if we didn't realise we were late, they would come and look for us here. We went to the park and sat under a huge willow tree next to the little stream that ran though the middle. After sitting in slightly awkward silence for a moment, Ray turned to me.

"Frank, I…" He began.

"You….?"

"Nevermind. It doesn't matter" He said quickly.

"No, tell me" I insisted.

"Well, you know how I haven't had a girlfriend in a while…"

"Err, yes?"

"I just.. I… Think I.. Might be gay" He said. This shocked me a little, I wouldn't have expected Ray of all people to be gay. There was nothing wrong with it though and I surely couldn't talk anyway, as both me and Gerard were bi. Ray stood and walked a bit away, clearly uneasy. I stood too and followed him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Ray, listen to me, it's okay" I said. He seemed to relax a little. "How are you sure? Do you like someone?" I asked. He turned a deep shade of red, and I instantly knew that he did. "Who?" I asked.

He seemed to be having an internal debate with himself, and then looked me straight in the eye.

"Stay still" He said. I felt weird, what was he doing? "It's okay just don't panic or say anything". What the fuck was he on about? Was there a spider on me?! Shit, shit shit! I hate spiders! Ray began moving closer to me, reaching both of his hands up to my hair to get the spider. Except, perhaps not. His hands landed either side of my face, and he pulled me towards him a little. I suddenly realised too late what was happening. There was no spider in my hair. Something far worse was going to happen. And then it happened.

Shit. Oh shit. He was kissing me! I was scared, I didn't know what to do. _Gerard. _Oh god, I couldn't do this to him! It was him I loved! Not Ray! But I was still so worried. I really wanted to shove him away… to tell him that Gerard is my only one and that is never going to change. But Ray was one of my best friends. If I did that, he might never talk to me again. As guilty and horrible as I felt letting Ray kiss me, I didn't pull away. He clearly had feelings for me, I couldn't be so cruel to him. I decided I would let him kiss me this once, and then tell him afterwards that we can't be together, and it's Gerard I love. I would just tell him. "Ray, I don't love you". That would be the fair way to do it, and then I could go and see Gerard and explain what had happened. I knew he'd understand.

After a moment or two of letting Ray kiss me (but no tongues or anything, there was no way I could do that to Gerard), he finally pulled away. He seemed to look at my face for a reaction, but then his eyes focused on something behind me, and his face turned to a picture of horror. Confused, I turned around to see what he had seen and felt my jaw drop as I watched Gerard turn and run away, tears streaming down his face. What had I done.


	6. Chapter 6 These tears are only for you

Chapter 6

Gerard's POV

I hate him. But I love him. Why on earth did this happen to me? My life was perfect; living with the man of my dreams and in the building next to my brother and best friend. I had everything I could ever want, but now it's all torn apart. I didn't know who to blame. Ray for kissing him, or Frank for letting him kiss him. I guess I blamed them both.

How long had this been going on for? What had they done? A thousand horrible pictures of Frank and Ray together forced their way into my mind and I collapsed on the floor once more. Was Frank having an affair? Did he even want Ray to kiss him? Since WHEN was Ray gay?!

He must've wanted him to kiss him, otherwise he would've pushed him away. I clearly couldn't trust either of them anymore. As much as it hurt me more than anything, I knew that me and Frank would need to talk about this, and we would probably break up. This could ruin my friendship with Ray forever as well. I'll have to move back in with Mikey... Will I ever even want to see either of them again?

I paced my room, chewing at the skin on my thumb as I thought of the events earlier today. Mikey and I had finished getting the presents and gone to meet them at the coffee shop, but they hadn't turned up. So Mikey stayed with the coffees we ordered while I went to the park to see if they were there. When I saw them kissing it was too much to take, I burst into tears and ran as quickly as I could, as far away as possible. I made it home the quickest I ever have without even driving, and let myself in, running straight to my room and barricading the door shut. I took the photo of Frank I had on my bedside table and threw it at the wall, where the glass in the frame shattered into a million pieces. I picked up a shard of glass and dragged it across the soft flesh of my arm, before realising what I was doing and throwing the glass away in disgust. Old habits. I ran to the bathroom to get some tissue and mopped up the blood coming out of my arm, before walking back to my room, sitting against the door and holding the tissue over the cut. I hadn't felt this bad in years. And of all people... Frank did this to me.

Frank's POV

I moaned as I felt the pain surge through my fist. After what had happened with Gerard I had tried to run after him, but I wasn't fast enough. I was so mad that this had happened to us that I was punching everything in sight, shouting loudly. Ray caught up with me and gasped when he saw the blood coming from the cuts on my knuckles.

"Frank... I am so sorry" He said. I didn't respond but just stood in silence, I didn't know whether to be angry at him or not. I knew what it was like to be desperately in love with someone and feel like it could never happen, as that was how I felt about Gerard. But then again, chances are, Ray just ruined our relationship forever. I looked at Ray. He wasn't one to cry but his face clearly reflected deep sadness. He was regretting what he had done, he knew the damage he had caused. Without trying to stop myself I reached out and brought him into a hug.

"It's ok" I said, holding him for a moment before turning and walking away. I walked the way to mine and Gerard's flat. I wondered how much longer we'd be living together for. Probably not that long. I found the door was already unlocked, which meant that Gerard was in. I tiptoed through the doorway as silent as possible and walked over to Gerard's bedroom door. I could hear sobbing coming from the other side as he was sat against it. He sounded heartbroken, and I could feel a wave of guilt devour me as I knew that I had caused him this pain. I heard a shuffle as he stood and walked to somewhere else in the room, giving me an opportunity to open the door and step in.

He had his back to me and was staring down at something on the floor, but turned when he heard me step in. On the floor was the picture of me that he always kept by the side of his bed on the nights that I was working late and couldn't come home. The glass from the frame was smashed and scattered all over the place, and there was a very clear dent in the wall above it. I looked to him. He was holding a tissue over his arm... a tissue covered in blood.

When we were 16, Gerard was extremely stressed and going through depression due to the excessive bullying he and I recieved, and all the exam stress. This eventually led to him attempting to cut himself off from society... and, to harming himself. We had helped eachother get through the hard time, and eventually he had stopped. He hadn't cut since... until now.

His face was what hurt me the most though. Black lines down his face where his eyeliner had smudged, sad eyes, messy hair. He looked a wreck. I straight away ran to him to pull him into a hug, but he stepped away. Heartbroken, I stepped back again.

"Gee... please let me explain" I pleaded. He just stared back, not uttering a word, as if the ability to speak had escaped him. "Please... Ray was confused. I was just trying to help him..."

His voice first came out as a croak, but barely understandable as he muttered quietly. "I don't understand how that's helping him..." He said.

"Please Gee, you know what it's like. He wasn't sure of his sexuality and he didn't know what it felt like to kiss a guy. He was just trying it, it didn't mean anything to him and I swear it meant nothing at all to me, it's you I love" I said.

"But why you Frank? He knows we're together... It's not fair on me" He asked.

Gerard's POV

"I don't know" Frank replied. 'I don't know' wasn't really good enough though. I had caught my boyfriend kissing my best friend. How on earth would I ever be okay with this?

Part of me was telling me to forgive him though. He was making it clear that there was nothing going on between him and Ray, and that he loved me. I knew he loved me. And I loved him. But was I giving in too easily? What if there was even the smallest chance that Frank was lying to me? Should I consider that?

I realised I couldn't. Frank was my everything, I couldn't lose him. I knew it would be hard but I would let it go this time. But if anything like this was to happen again, things would go very differently. Without saying a word I walked back over to Frank, slowly putting my arms around him and letting him rest his head on my chest (he was incredibly short). I kissed the top of his head, and we stayed like that for a while. A few hours later (it must have been about 10:30pm), I heard the front door open. Ray and Mikey must be back. Footsteps echoed through the house but we stayed as we were, and watched the door. Mikey's head eventually peered round the edge.

"Oh, shit.. not here either..." He mumbled.

"What's wrong?" Frank asked Mikey. Mikey adjusted his glasses nervously as he looked at us both, dead serious.

"I don't mean to alarm you guys... but.. I can't find Ray anywhere"


	7. Ray's missing again!

CHAPTER 7

Frank's POV

We didn't hear from Ray at all that night. Nothing. I could only imagine what horrible things were going through his mind. Ray was a good person, infact, an amazing one. He would definitely be feeling guilty for what he had done to Gerard and I. I wasn't sure how Gerard would be around him when he got back, but I knew that right now, we were all worried for him.

Meand Gerard were all in the living room. Gerard was staring out of the window and biting his lip, I was sitting on the floor, and we could see Mikey in his and Ray's apartment, pacing nervously around the room. Mikey was especially in a state and just couldn't keep still. He was so worried about Ray. Earlier he was speaking to himself, constantly repeating 'I should've gone with him' and 'where on earth could he have gone'.

We had explained earlier exactly what had happened with Ray, and Mikey told us that he had gone to wait with the coffees in the cafe while Gerard checked the park to see if we were there. After what had happened, Ray had gone straight to Mikey but then eventually left when he was getting too upset about it. He had told Mikey he'd be back soon and not to worry, and left without another word. Mikey was overwhelmed with guilt for letting him go.

It was now 12:30am. Mikey had been back for 2 hours, and the last time he had seen Ray was 3 hours ago. Of course, 3 hours is nothing to worry about normally, but Mikey said that Ray had been in a terrible state.

I had a feeling Gerard knew just how upset Mikey had been, and this is why he was just watching him pace around his apartment. But how was Gerard feeling? Would things go back to normal once Ray was back?

Eventually (at 3am) we saw Mikey's light go out - he had gone to bed. I had a feeling he wouldn't sleep much, but at least he was trying. I patted Gerard on the shoulder.

"We should go to bed now too" I said. He nodded and I took his hand and we went into his room and got into the double bed, pulling the warm black covers over us. We didn't bother to change or brush our teeth, we were too tired. He slept with his back to me and so I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my head in the back of his neck and feeling his soft hair on my face. He leaned into my touch and I just held him all night, even though we barely slept.

~~~~~~~~~~~ The Next Day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mikey's POV

I woke up to hear a light knock on my bedroom door. "Come in!" I mumbled from under my covers. That was the worst night of my life, I must have slept for about half an hour. As the person walked in, I glanced at my bedside clock. 7:42am.

"Hey" I heard from the other side of the room. I knew that voice. Forgetting how tired I was, I launched myself out of my bed and brought Ray into a huge hug, holding him as if I was scared that he would disappear again. Ray meant so much to me ever since the day me and Gerard met him and Frank. Of course I didn't like Ray in the way that Frank and Gerard liked eachother, as I was 100% sure that I was straight, and I liked a girl at my work called Alicia. But Ray was a best friend to me. And I couldn't bear to lose him.

I felt him hug back and then I eventually let go, looking at him. From the smell of lynx and soap he had clearly showered, but where had he been last night? As if he could tell what I was going to say, he answered.

"I stayed at Bob's house last night" he said. I just nodded.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone or anything, I was a bit scared that Gerard might use your phone to call me and I wasn't ready to speak to him yet" he confessed.

"Ray, it's fine. I think he's okay with you - he was definitely worried about you last night. All that matters is that you're back and you're fine"

He smiled and hugged me again.

"I have a present for you" he said, and turned to walk into the living room. Sitting on the glass coffee table was a mug of coffee, a huge stack of pancakes and some golden syrup and sugar. I grinned broadly and thanked him, running over to my coffee and pouring the entire contents of the golden syrup tub onto the stack of pancakes. This morning had definitely improved. After my breakfast, I grabbed my phone and quickly texted frank.

_Ray's back and he's fine. All is good x - _I said. A minute later, Frank replied.

_Ah, awesome. That's really good news, you won't believe how worried Gee and I have been. He's been pacing all morning like you were last night! It must run in the family or something. Come over in a bit :) -xoFrnk_

I laughed, I guess that did run in the family. I went into my room and started to get dressed, shouting to Ray that we were gonna go over and see them in a bit. He shouted 'Alright!' back and I heard him go into his room.

Ray's POV

Mikey wants us to go and see Frank and Gerard soon. I know I need to see them, but I'm a little scared. I realised while I was gone last night that I don't have feelings for Frank, I was confused. I'm pretty sure I'm bi though, but I won't be chasing after Frank or the others. I'm so glad that Mikey was so happy to see me today though, it made me feel all warm and happy inside when he hugged me. I hope nothing has changed between all of us, but I guess I'll find out when we go over in a minute.


	8. Gerard is sassy

CHAPTER 8

Ray's POV

The time to see Gerard and Frank came around far too quickly. I knew that it was my fault for what had happened and I wouldn't blame them if they hated me, but I hoped that they didn't. Mikey and I got dressed and then walked over, climbing the stairs until we reached Frank and Gerard's apartment: Room 109. I inhaled deeply, and then knocked on the door. We heard footsteps from inside the room and Mikey gave me a reassuring look before the door opened.

There stood Frank, clearly not even dressed yet as his hair was messed up and he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. It looked like he hadn't slept last night, and hadn't showered yet either. He smiled and came over to me, hugging me tightly. _Yep, definitely hasn't showered yet.. _I thought. We walked in and sat on the couch while Frank went to go and make us some coffee.

"Where's Gerard?" Mikey asked.

"He's out getting food, should be back soon" Frank said, and I relaxed a little. I wouldn't have to face him just yet. We sat and talked for a while and drank our coffees, and I explained to Frank where I had been last night. We then all watched Kerrang! for a bit, and then after about an hour, Gerard came home.

The unlocked door opened to reveal a very tired looking Gerard. His black hair was hanging over his face in messy clumps, his eyeliner was roughly framing his eyes and he was carrying several bags of shopping. He looked at us without saying a word before turning and taking all the bags to the kitchen, as Frank ran over to help him, and kissed him.

"Welcome home Darling" Frank said to Gerard. I wanted to giggle at the little pet name but I knew that it wouldn't be appropriate right now.

"Hey Frankie" Gerard smiled, and then looked to Mikey, and then to me. "Morning Mikey... Morning Ray" He said. Mikey nodded and I took this as my chance to speak to him.

"Morning Gerard" I said, smiling as normally as I possibly could. He half-smiled back at me, and then turned to the shopping. Awkward. Gerard and Frank began to put the shopping away while Mikey and I sat together in comfortable silence. Mikey was playing on his phone and I was just watching them, wondering what to do next. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out, seeing I had a text from Mikey. I glanced at him and he gestured to my phone with a look on his face that said, _Read it you moron!_. I looked down and read the text.

_"Help him with the shopping or something! You need to get on his good side, and I know my brother. He hates work like putting the shopping away, so do it for him!"_

I thought for a moment, I supposed that could work. I put my phone down on the table and stood up, walking over to Gerard and Frank. Frank saw me and realised what I was doing, and so stood out of the way so that I had room to help Gerard.

"Hey, let me get that for you" I said, leaning down and picking up a bag of sugar from inside one of the carrier bags. I began to lift it up and I heard Gerard shout next to me:

"No Ray, DON'T! IT'S-"

All of the sugar poured out of a hole in the side of the bag and into a heap on the floor. Gerard sighed, leaning against the counter, head in hands.

"There was only one bag of sugar left and it was ripped so it needed to stay on one side..." Gerard groaned. I blushed a deep shade of red.

"I'm so sorry Gerard, I didn't know" I said, ashamed.

"That's alright, it's just that I have none for my coffee now.." He moaned.

"Isn't there another store not that far from here? You could take my car?" Frank offered.

"I guess I'll have to, thanks Frankie" Gerard said, taking the keys from Frank's hand.

"I'll go with you, it's the least I can do" I said, and Gerard looked at me for a moment before nodding and going to get his coat. I went back to the table and picked up my phone and saw Mikey smile at me - a smile that said: _This is your chance. Don't mess it up._

And I wouldn't mess it up. Gerard may be a sassy bitch at times, but there was no way he could stay mad at me. I would get him to forgive me.

* * *

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